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Starting over
It was the summer of 2002—I was a 21 year old boy sitting on a burning hot train in the sweltering heat of India. It wasn't the best of moments, as I had just finished my final semester exams for my Bachelor of Engineering. It was time for me to start over. I had chosen to (or one might say, destiny wanted me to…) learn more in life before choosing a direction.
Four years prior, when I was admitted into college, I had it all sorted. I figured engineering would be no problem. How difficult can it be? While I did not know what to expect in this engineering program as I started off, I knew some fundamentals about the next phase of my life. The goal was to apply. Apply all you can learn to make things. Apparently, that turned out to be one of the real definitions of engineering as well: Engineering is the application of science and math to solve problems.
But I was in for a rude awakening—as the program began, I soon realized there's very little application and a lot more theory. And as the rules of the game in the Indian education system are—theory was weighed four times more than practical application. I ended up enduring more rote memorization than I ever thought I could stomach. Fortunately, through the four years of the program I felt most at home getting my hands dirty in labs and workshops—practical exams were always a breeze for me, and I typically focused little on theoretical topics. Through pure determination, I finished up my last semester and awaited the results due in the coming months.
Soon after my eighth-semester exams, I found myself boarding the train from Pune to Vasco, leaving behind everything familiar in search of my own unique path.
Getting on that train was a tough call. I was searching for my ikigai—my motivating force, my true purpose in being. Though I didn’t know the term back then, I knew deep within that it was what I was looking for. In reality, at that moment, I was hot, sweating, and had tons of luggage to take care of: chaining it under the big seats of Indian railways to avoid being robbed while I crashed on the topmost birth to sleep.
The otherworldly reality was that all my friends and peers had a clear path forward (at least so it seemed)—70% of them were heading to the US for master’s programs, and I couldn’t afford any of the top universities there. The other 30% were either taking local engineering jobs or switching career streams to software engineering.
I was happy for them, but I knew those paths just weren’t for me. Instead of thinking about them and their career trajectory, I had to think of my way forward. My options were as follows:
Masters in the US? Not a possibility—I couldn't afford it.
Software career? I did not want to be a computer programmer—even though that seemed like the best outlet for me to put my creativity to some use. But sitting in front of a computer for hours just didn't excite me.
Take up a job as a Polymer Engineer? I did not want to be on the shopfloor—for some reason the smell of epoxy was not my thing.
Go back home? Continue to evaluate my options?
I chose the fourth option. I was fortunate my family supported me.
Deep in my heart I knew I was destined for something special. I might have to work real hard for it, and luck would have to favor me eventually (it favors the brave, right?). Was it a way of my brain convincing me “all will be well”, or did I truly believe it? I still don't know which was true. The future just seemed so uncertain.
So here I was, sitting on the 16-hour train ride to Vasco, a beautiful city in Goa, with eyes all welled up. I didn't realize someone out there had seen this young boy sitting too coyly in the corner near the window without looking at or smiling at the ten plus other people who were in that tiny compartment. Then the stranger sitting next to me asked is everything okay?
That's when I realized it wasn't—and my eyes, which had been doing their best not to let the tears flow, yielded. And with both my eyes now streaming rivers, I just looked outside the window. Everything I knew was disappearing down the tracks behind me. How could I be sure that I'd succeed on my own in the unfamiliar world on the horizon? The elderly gentleman was still looking at me, so I responded back to him with a typical head nod, which he, I am assuming, took as an affirmative answer. Later I found myself looking out the open window onto the crowded platform of the train station from an even more compact second-class sleeper. Now crying even more profusely.
As a few minutes passed, I regained some composure, took a deep breath, and thought long and hard about my decision.
It wasn’t easy, but deep in my heart I knew I was making the right call. No matter how difficult the road ahead might be, braving the unknown seemed to be the only way to manifest the life I felt I was destined for. I could sense that somewhere ahead of me my ikigai was waiting.
Now when I think of that (first!) 21st year, I hardly remember the tears. I only remember the excitement that followed them, the sense of adventure that marks every new beginning.
After spending a couple of months with my parents in Goa in a remote town that had nothing but beaches around, I finally took up a job in Bangalore – in a non-software engineering field, of course. I did not want to do computer programming like most of my most other friends of those times. It was an easy way to make a lot of money, and it was one of the first non-government desk jobs that came with a lot of perks.
Instead I joined Dell in a technical support role, assisting users from all over the world to fix their problems. REMOTELY. Boy! That was an eye-opening experience for me on how Standard Operating Procedures (SOP) can solve 90% of problems and keep costs low. Troubleshooting, debugging, solving problems. Yes, it meant sitting in front of the computer for pretty long, but it also meant talking with people, solving real problems.
My time working at Dell was exceptional, full of learning, great friends and colleagues, and inspiring discussions with the extraordinary people on my team. We had crazy fun working together.
Among all the breaking down of machines during training, and taking several customer calls and solving different kinds of customer issues ranging from technical to warranty, I learned some nuances of business. But what I really learned here was that all lasting relationships are built on trust and veracity, and that fostering these was a great strength of mine that could serve me in business as well as it did in my personal life. I made some good friends over the couple of years I worked here—winning over a dozen awards in that time period, and even got an opportunity to receive one of the awards from Michael Dell himself when he was visiting Bangalore. He was a towering personality and I stood proudly in front of him, shaking his hands and receiving the award for best performing Tech Associate of the quarter…. That opened my eyes, and solidified my mindset of working hard to achieve goals.
This is when I decided to pursue an MBA to continue learning and mastering the inner workings of the corporate world.
Of course, I still wasn’t sure what I wanted beyond that. After standing out from almost a million odd other students on an admissions test as I cleared the interviews of a couple different colleges, a professor interviewed me for a prestigious institute: “What do you want to do?”. I answered with certainty:
“Marketing.” My process of elimination had done the trick, just like it had on the train, when I'd decided to go back to Goa to think about a better future.
I was pretty darn sure that I wasn’t interested in Finance and HR, and between the other options of Marketing & IT, I knew that Marketing would offer the better outlet for my creative energies.
My MBA was an exciting whirlwind of marketing strategies, business lessons, and case studies. This is also where I made some of my best friends for life. A life now that I know is well lived with some remarkable human beings that I have as friends today. By the end of the second year, the recruiting season came like another storm blowing in at full force. I found myself sitting in an interview with the Enterprise Consulting team of a large technology firm, a position I’d never expected to be in. Yet they offered me the job. Until then, I’d been relying on elimination to narrow my vision of the future. But now I knew what I wanted. I’d get an opportunity to work with not just an organization, but for multiple global majors, moving between different projects and locations and learning more about the intricacies of the corporate world. What better way to learn?
I accepted the offer.
It soon became clear that part of my ikigai, my calling, was knowing and running organizations. It was evolving. You never have a clear path when you get started, but looking back the dots always connect (an idea from Steve Jobs that continues to resonate). I felt natural leading organizations from the front and being a truthful, honest, and powerful face of the company, providing the best to my customers and to my own organization in return. I got several awards through this business journey, solving business problems (some that at first seemed unsolvable) and helping grow the business of the different organizations I worked for.
Since then, working with large corporates, businesses and extraordinary people, I've had the pleasure of working with and learning from some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met.
But my heart was still calling for something more. I now knew beyond a doubt that leading organizations, solving problems, building visions and closing deals were central to my true calling, but I also discovered a burning desire to achieve something more personal - something that could serve a larger purpose and create a more meaningful impact.
My belief system developed over the years had prepared me for something bigger. Something even more personal and more meaningful than anything I had done so far: My ikigai.
What propelled me forward past that moment of doubt on the train in India into a life beyond anything I could have envisioned was a strong belief system and a positive mindset, which have evolved into something even more powerful: a Growth mindset. Along the way I’ve faced plenty of challenges: people who tried to change my belief system, the way I think about others, even the way I think about myself. But I’ve always stayed true to my principles.
And because of that and good will of many, life has also been extraordinarily kind to me. I have had my share of challenges, anxiety and angst. But I am grateful for the good times to build me and the bad ones to teach me. My first 21 years were full of adventurous road-trips, long journeys to visit family all over the country, studies in different schools and cities, and new friends everywhere I went.
And eventually led me to my lovely wife and two kids who teach me a new life lesson almost every day.
I’ve learned so much from those experiences – maybe enough to write a book about them someday! – and they’ve led me to a personal mantra that I share with everyone whose lives I have touched:
"Your thoughts (belief system) become your karma (actions),
Your karma builds your habit,
Your habits define your character,
Your character shapes your destiny."
21-year-old-me could have used those words. Luckily, he still can!
In 2023, I moved from elimination to selection driven by a very strong calling.
Living in Chicago, the city that has given me so much, I pressed the reset button and started fresh, just like I did on that train from Pune. I've left the corporate world behind and am now the loco pilot of the next train ride into the future. I know exactly what I want: I want to touch many more lives, have a positive impact on everyone I meet, and build something that fuels the creative spark in all of us. I want to help others to dream their dreams, pursue their own ikigai, and manifest their imaginations. The rest of this journey will be all about what we do versus what I do!
So here's to turning 21 (again!) and to the beginning of another adventure.